


just as long as you'll be home

by uneventfulhouses



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment
Genre: M/M, New Relationship, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23677144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uneventfulhouses/pseuds/uneventfulhouses
Summary: It’s been a long time since he’s felt like this, hovering high above reality, where he’s caught in the overwhelming emotion of being adored. Not that Shane didn’t adore him before. He always has, he’s told Ryan as much. Even then, though, Ryan doesn’t remember the liquid amber of Shane's eyes looking down at him like this, bright and soft at the edges, when he reaches behind his head and takes Ryan's hands, dropping one only to securely hold the other as they walk down the hallway.or; it's new.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 46
Kudos: 262





	just as long as you'll be home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cleopatraslibrary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleopatraslibrary/gifts).



> this is for lexi!!! lexi ily, and i hope you enjoy reading this. 
> 
> thank you jess for the beta, ilyt.

Grey clouds shroud the sky. It’s the middle of the afternoon when they crack open and rain pours over Los Angeles. It’s been so long that at first, when the water drops against Ryan's skin, he allows himself to soak it up. Then he yanks on Shane's hand and Shane's laugh is drowned out by the waterfall splashing the concrete sidewalks and the slapping of their shoes in puddles as they run. 

They’re sopping wet; Ryan feels it in his bones, chilling and cool, and even though he’s shivering, he’s smiling. Shane's hands are cold when they touch his waist underneath his wet t-shirt, tugging Ryan’s body close in the elevator of Shane’s apartment building. Ryan's arms loop around Shane's neck and he pushes himself up onto the tips of his toes, kissing away Shane's dopey grin. 

Another shiver draws its way up Ryan's spine, and against Shane's warm lips, Ryan whispers, “I’m cold.” 

“You’re always cold, Ry,” Shane murmurs. 

“Well, warm me up.” Ryan's fingers tangle in the wet mess of Shane's hair. The elevator dings when they reach Shane's floor. 

“So _demanding_ ,” Shane says, but his smile tells Ryan something else. Something sweet and new and exciting. 

It’s been a long time since he’s felt like this, hovering high above reality, where he’s caught in the overwhelming emotion of being adored. Not that Shane didn’t adore him before. He always has, he’s told Ryan as much. Even then, though, Ryan doesn’t remember the liquid amber of Shane's eyes looking down at him like this, bright and soft at the edges, when he reaches behind his head and takes Ryan's hands, dropping one only to securely hold the other as they walk down the hallway. 

“You get in the shower,” Shane says when they get inside Shane's apartment. “I’ll find you something to wear.” 

Ryan doesn’t have a smart ass remark for that, because his teeth are chattering with how cold the apartment is from the A/C on his wet skin. 

In the bathroom, he peels himself out of his soaked clothing, reaching around the shower curtain to set the shower temperature. 

Underneath the spray, his skin prickles with goosebumps and warms, and he closes his eyes, rubbing his soapy hands over his body. He breathes in the familiar scent of Shane's body wash. 

When he’s done, he towels off his chest and shoulders, his hair, slinging the towel around his hips. 

Shane's in his bedroom, and on the edge of the bed, there’s a sweatshirt and a pair of sleep pants laid out. Shane’s still wearing his wet clothes.

“Hope that’s okay,” Shane says to him, passing Ryan with a soft touch to his stomach, a kiss to his temple.

“Let’s just skip the movie,” Ryan says, tugging Shane back to him with a hand around his wrist. “I wanna make out with you.” 

Shane's smile is so soft, curved at the corners, eyes shiny behind his water-spotted glasses. “Let me shower first, and then I’m all yours, okay?” 

Ryan nods, lets Shane go, though reluctantly, and gets dressed in his borrowed clothes. He knows there will be a point when he’ll have clothes here, his tees tucked in between Shane's, an entire drawer for his own jeans. His shoes will sit on the rack by the front door—

For now, though, he revels in the way Shane's t-shirt fits him perfectly, and his pants, while fine around the waist, droop and pool around his ankles. He lifts the collar of Shane's t-shirt and breathes in the generic scent of laundry detergent, grinning to himself at how ridiculous he must look, standing in Shane's room smelling his clothes. 

It doesn’t matter anyway; he flops onto Shane's bed, laying on the same side he’d slept the night before, and curls his body underneath the weight of Shane's comforter. He pulls the blanket high up over his shoulders and burrows as the warmth starts to return to him, spilling through his limbs. He wiggles his toes—they’re always the last to warm up. 

It hadn’t been his intention to fall asleep, but he’s almost dropped off when Shane reenters the bedroom. 

“So much for making out,” he hears Shane say, and Ryan smiles, slow and easy and sleepy, sinking deeper within Shane's blankets and pillows. 

“You know how I get. I don’t know why you’re surprised,” Ryan murmurs, his eyes still closed. “Come lay with me.” 

The bed dips from Shane's weight, and the blankets move, letting a burst of cold air brush over Ryan. He feels Shane; it’s his hands first, big and warm, touching Ryan's waist, effortlessly finding his flesh. Then, it’s the length of his legs, knees knocking against his own as Shane tangles their ankles together. Then, it’s his mouth, soft and gentle over Ryan's cheek. Ryan hums.

“You can sleep,” Shane near-whispers. “I have work I can do.” 

Ryan opens his eyes. 

Their faces are close, and Shane is looking at him. There’s contentment in his features, his brows at ease, like what he says is true, like he won’t be bothered at all if Ryan rolled over and fell back into sleep, if Shane had to otherwise entertain himself without Ryan's company.

As it happens, Ryan's heart swells with too much emotion and he can’t imagine himself saying, _okay, I’ll sleep_ ; not yet. Not here, anyway, when Shane's fingers dance along his spine and Shane’s body is radiating the kind of warmth Ryan wants to familiarize himself with his hands. 

“I don’t want you to go,” Ryan whispers.

“Kiss me.” Ryan lets his eyes fall closed, waiting for Shane to settle the length of his body closer to Ryan's. Shane laughs, light and airy, fading away when the rush of his heartbeat becomes the only thing he can hear when Shane does kiss him. 

It’s the touch of his lips; a strong exhale through his nose. Pressing and pulling and pressing back in. It’s kissing Shane's top lip and feeling the scruff of his mustache scrape against his lips. It’s kissing Shane's bottom lip and sucking gently, hearing a soft, pained groan.

It’s Shane easing him onto his back, one thigh pressing in between Ryan's, a crooked alignment that makes Ryan's breath shudder when he exhales. 

Ryan keeps his eyes closed and lets himself _feel_. It’s a gorgeous rush, rolling though him in waves. His fingers trip over the fabric of Shane's t-shirt as he slides his hand down Shane's back, threading the fingers of his other hand through Shane's shower-damp hair. 

Heat prickles all along Ryan's skin when Shane's tongue grazes his bottom lip, a careful suggestion, one that Ryan falls into wholeheartedly. It’s hard to come up for air when all he wants to do is drown in this feeling, the slick slide of Shane's tongue against his, the heat of his breath, the heavy weight of his hips pinning Ryan down. Shane hooks an arm underneath Ryan's shoulder, the other touching hot over Ryan's hip, keeping them pressed so close together. Ryan sighs, squirming, shifting underneath Shane. 

Shane breaks the kiss, pulling back, and Ryan keeps his eyes closed. He allows himself the weightless feeling of being a bit lost before Shane finds him, the soft press of Shane's mouth at the corner of his jaw, the scraping brush of Shane's beard against his neck when he kisses with intent. It’s like he wants to unravel Ryan from how knotted and tangled he’d been before this glowing hazy moment where he’s so wrapped up in Shane. 

“ _Shane_ ,” Ryan breathes, gripping the fabric of Shane's tee in his grasp before splaying his fingers out, settling them low on Shane's back. “Hang on, take this off.” 

Leaning up, Shane pulls away from him, and Ryan opens his eyes then, to the sight of Shane kneeling on the bed, pulling off his t-shirt; he tugs it from the back of his neck and over his head, and throws it over the bed. Ryan touches his palms to Shane's chest, looking up at Shane's face. His hair has fallen into his eyes. 

“Yours too,” Shane says, and Ryan pulls back his hands just so he can get himself out of his t-shirt. Things are new, _this_ is new. Lying in bed, kissing Shane in the middle of the afternoon on a rainy Saturday—it’s so new, and Ryan's flush from excitement. 

Ryan isn’t shy about taking his shirt off, even though he doesn’t look like he used to, but Shane looks at him like he’s fascinating. Ryan doesn’t have it in him to be shy under such meticulous scrutiny; he wants Shane too bad to recoil away from the heat of his gaze. 

Hooking a finger in the waistband of Shane's pants, Ryan catches Shane's eyes. “What about these?” 

“What about ‘em?” 

“You know what about them.” 

Shane's smile is teasing. “You’re trying to get a little frisky, huh?” 

Ryan bites his lip. “Yeah,” he breathes. “Wanna touch you...babe?” 

Shane's eyebrows lift up. “Babe?” 

“Mhm. Can I call you that?” Ryan asks, slightly unsure. 

“I don’t care what you call me...sweetheart?” Shane says, just as uncertain. 

The two of them burst out laughing and Ryan's ready when Shane falls onto him with a huff. Ryan cards his fingers through Shane's hair, combing back the fallen locks. Shane kisses his forehead, an eyebrow, his temple. 

“It’s kinda weird, right?” Ryan whispers. “But like a _good_ weird. Like, I’ve known you for so long it makes sense that I love you.” 

There are moments when Ryan is grateful that Shane's so stupidly pale. He blushes with his whole face; it’s impossible for him to hide from it, but he tries, pressing his face into Ryan’s collarbones.

“Babe is good,” Shane whispers against his chest. “I like babe.”

“I liked it better when you called me an idiot,” Ryan jokes, and Shane's smile is big and wide as he shakes his head, looking up at him. “You know, instead of sweetheart.” 

“You’re so dumb, Ryan.” 

“Yeah, but for some weird reason, you’re totally into me. So much so, you wanna bone about it.” 

“ _Okay_ ,” Shane mutters, rolling his eyes. “Like you don’t?” 

“Oh, I definitely wanna bone about it. Trying to right now, but you won’t take your pants off.” 

Shane laughs. “Alright. How exactly do you wanna bone about it? We have a few options.” 

“Whatever option ends with your hands on me, making me come. I really don’t care, Shane.” 

Shane hums, pressing his mouth underneath Ryan's jaw and Ryan bares his neck for him, enjoying the bite of Shane's teeth and the wet press of his tongue. Shane's bruising him and the feeling of it, the pressure, sends heat coiling tight in the lowest part of his belly. He hardens against Shane’s stomach.

Shane shifts, then, slipping between the spread of Ryan's legs, and Ryan settles his ankles at the insides of Shane's knees. He loops his arms around Shane's waist, fingertips pressed into Shane's back. 

At the first insistent press of Shane's hips against his own, Ryan's back arches, he keens, and breathily asks for Shane to keep going. 

“I can’t wait ‘til you fuck me proper,” Ryan mumbles. “God, you’d fuck me so good, wouldn’t you, babe?” 

Shane groans, his mouth hot and open over Ryan’s jaw, and Ryan slips his hand underneath the waistband of Shane's pants, gripping the modest swell of his ass. 

“Fuck, Shane,” Ryan moans, clutching his fingers in Shane's hair. “Wanna feel you inside me, fuckin—wanna hear you make me beg for it.” 

“Ryan, Jesus Christ,” Shane grunts. “Take your pants off.” 

When Shane lifts himself up, Ryan watches as Shane shucks his pants down to his knees, kicking them off the rest of the way as Ryan shimmies out of his own. 

They take a breathless moment to look at each other. Ryan knows how he looks; he’s taken enough pictures of himself, can look down and see the way his dick drips over his belly, twitching under the heaviness of Shane's gaze. But Shane? Ryan's never seen him like _this_ , flushed and tense, hard for him, because of him. 

“That,” Ryan says, reaching to grasp his fingers around Shane’s cock, “is going to take a lot of lube.” 

Shane huffs a laugh, pressing his lips into a line when Ryan strokes him, reaching down to grasp at Shane's balls. 

“ _Ryan,_ fuck,” Shane groans, bowing his head. 

“Come here, I wanna feel you on me,” Ryan says, tugging Shane by his hip. Ryan's thighs fall open and Shane lays on top of him, his face in the curve of Ryan's neck. Pressed together from chest to cock, they groan, low and loud. 

“Yeah, _yes_ ,” Ryan breathes, his eyes falling closed as Shane moves. Sharp spikes of pleasure burn in his belly as Shane rubs off against him; Ryan curls his legs around Shane's waist, locking his ankles, submitting to the feeling of Shane's sweaty skin on his own, his body heavy and hot. 

“You’d fill me up so good, Shane,” Ryan sighs, arching his back as Shane drives his hips hard, cock slipping over Ryan’s skin, grinding alongside his own. He’s only slightly surprised when Shane's hands find his, pressing them into the pillows on either side of his head; Ryan moans, sighing Shane’s name, canting his hips up off the bed to grind his cock against the front of Shane’s hips. Shane looks down at him, rolling his hips forward, groaning low and hoarse. 

The bed creaks from their shifting weight. They’re wet and messy, and Ryan wants to live in this moment, where Shane is watching him with darkened eyes, shoulders flushed, and lips parted as he pants. 

“You’d fuck me like this, huh? Holding me down?” Ryan asks him, and Shane's eyes flutter closed, Ryan’s name dripping from his mouth, and Ryan bites down on his lip. “Or do you want me on my knees?” 

“ _Ryan_ ,” Shane admonishes, but the rhythm of his hips doesn’t stop, and when Ryan closes his eyes, he can see it, see himself gripping fistfuls of bed sheets, whining Shane's name as Shane holds his hips and fucks him hard and deep. He wants it, Shane’s body draped along his spine, with Ryan pushing back against him. He wants to _feel_ it.

“ _Oh_ —my God, you’d bruise me up with how hard you’d hold me,” Ryan gasps, clenching his hands into fists, his body hurtling towards climax. Shane's grip around his wrists tightens just before he lets go, and he touches Ryan’s face with a gentle hand instead. Shane stares so intensely into Ryan's eyes. Ryan reaches his hands to press his fingers into Shane's ribs, slipping over his back to clutch Shane to him. Shane sneaks his other hand between the bed and Ryan's ass.

“Tell me you love me,” Ryan pants. He’s close, so close he feels it building inside of him much too quickly; he isn’t ready for it to be over yet, but he doesn’t have a choice, doesn’t have a say. 

“I love you,” Shane says, without pause, and when he does, Ryan's back arches and his climax strikes him hard; Ryan shakes from it, thighs clenching around Shane’s hips. He gasps his breath into Shane's mouth as Shane grinds against him, working him through it. Ryan spills hot between their bodies, and his hands slip down Shane's back, gripping his ass to keep him close.

Gazing up at Shane, Ryan reaches a hand just to comb his fingers through Shane’s hair, leaving his palm pressed against Shane’s cheek. “I wanna feel you come inside me,” Ryan whispers. 

“Fuck, oh—God _,_ _Ryan_ ,” Shane curses, hiding his face in Ryan's neck when he comes. His back bows as he shudders on top of Ryan, rutting hard against Ryan's hips. It’s almost too much all at once, the overstimulation making Ryan whine, but all he can do is clutch his thighs around Shane's hips, drawing his hand up Shane's back to rest over his shoulder blades.

For a handful of moments, all Ryan feels is that weightless stretch of time, where his mind is blissfully blank, and his body craves to be touched. Shane's breath is hot on Ryan's throat, and he presses kiss after kiss, soothing and soft, to Ryan’s skin, and Ryan just keeps his hand on Shane’s back, fingers gentle through Shane’s hair, begging himself to remember this feeling, how time seemed to stop and there was nothing beyond the heat of Shane’s body. 

After that, though, Ryan lets each of his limbs fall listlessly on the bed. Shane unsticks himself from Ryan with a tired noise, flopping onto the bed beside him. 

Ryan isn’t cold at all anymore. 

“You have a _filthy_ mouth, Bergara.” 

“And you like it.” 

“Christ, I love it. Who’d’ve thought?” 

Giggling, Ryan rolls over, tucking himself into Shane's side. “ _So_ , you know, I don't think I ever want to stop touching you,” Ryan murmurs, kissing each of his ribs, resting his palm on Shane’s chest. “Like, I might develop a thing, where I can't stop.” 

Shane hums, rubbing his hand over Ryan’s forearm, up his bicep and then his shoulder. “Develop a thing?”

“Yeah. And then we’ll have to quit our jobs, and you’ll have to lay in bed with me all day, just touching me all over.” 

“They have anonymous groups for the sex obsessed.” 

“What about the Shane-obsessed?” 

Shane laughs then, touching his hand to Ryan's cheek. “You’re so—" 

“Dumb, I _know_ ,” Ryan interrupts. 

“I was going to say ridiculous, actually.” Shane smiles, eyes like crescent-shaped moons.

“Be nice to me,” Ryan whines. “I'm a delicate flower.” 

“Hardly,” Shane snorts. 

Ryan pinches Shane's thigh, Shane nearly knees him in the face, and Ryan almost falls off the bed with how quickly he reacts, and Shane can't stop laughing. For that, Ryan climbs on top of Shane, sitting on his lap, and leaning over him, his hands pinning Shane’s wrists to the bed.

Something about the happiness on Shane's face as Ryan looks down at him makes Ryan's stomach flip, unsettled. In just seconds, he’s gone from the ecstasy of feeling invincible, to having dropped somewhere so much darker, so suddenly unsure, acidic anxiety tangling in the sweetness of his emotions. 

“What if this goes away?” He doesn’t mean to say it, but he can’t help it; he’s always worried the good things will disappear.

“What?” Shane asks, quirking an eyebrow. 

“This. The way we’re feeling right now. What if we lose it?” 

“We won’t. We’ve had it for the last five years. I think we can make it fifty more.” 

“ _Shane_ ,” Ryan gasps, choking on his breath. He stares down at Shane in disbelief. Like Shane’s words aren’t real, like he’s mistaken what he’s heard.

“What, Ryan? You think I’m not in this?” 

“I mean I knew,” Ryan says slowly, “but like, I don't know. I didn’t think you saw me like _that_.” 

“What part of, ‘Ryan, I'm in love with you, please let me date you’, made you think otherwise?” Shane tugs against Ryan’s hold on his wrists. Ryan lets him go, pressing his palms into the mattress as Shane touches his hands to Ryan’s thighs. It’s a gentle touch, calming, and Ryan looks away, at the headboard behind Shane’s head before looking back at Shane. 

“The part where I am a pessimist by nature,” Ryan mumbles. “I am burdened by the fact that I see things at their worst.” Ryan frowns.

Sighing, Shane levels him with a look that makes Ryan feel bad, makes him feel wrong, makes him feel like the worries he has are _pointless_. “Ryan, _baby_ —" Shane tugs him down. “At the risk of sounding like a dumbass, I’d like to think you’re the last person I'm going to do this with.” Shane drifts his fingertips so soft up Ryan’s waist it almost tickles, but all of Ryan’s attention is on Shane. “I’d like to think that at some point, we’re just gonna do it all.” 

“Welp,” Ryan huffs, dropping his weight onto Shane. “Now you gotta fuck me again, cause that was romantic as hell.”

Shane laughs, and leans up to kiss Ryan, but Ryan's stomach—the cockblock—growls. 

“Gonna have to put a pin in that,” Shane murmurs, kissing Ryan's cheek instead. 

“You gonna make me some food?” Ryan asks, rubbing his hand over Shane's chest. 

“I could.”

“Yeah. ‘S kinda sexy when you’re in the kitchen. Gets me hot seeing you wield a spatula.” 

With a hand on the back of Ryan’s neck, Shane gives Ryan a wheezy little laugh, kissing him fully, properly, like maybe they won’t get out of bed at all. “We need to shower first,” Shane decides. “I’m not cooking covered in your jizz.” 

“Leave me here to die, then. I don’t want to get up.” 

“You lazy little shit.” 

“Don’t judge me,” Ryan grumbles, flopping off to Shane’s side. Shane sits up, pushing the blankets off of himself. Ryan watches like it’s in slow motion; Shane rounds the bed, long-legged strides as he walks naked and unabashed across the bedroom. He’s so long, tall, his body at ease. He looks like he belongs exactly here, in grey light, fucked out and soft. Warm and at home. Here with Ryan. Always with Ryan. 

Ryan wants to touch again, wants to be touched, even a touch as simple as Shane's fingers twining with his own. So, he gets out of bed, too, crossing the room to reach Shane, colliding with him, snaking an arm around Shane’s waist. Shane chuckles, looking down at Ryan as he winds an arm around Ryan's shoulders. Shane tugs him close.

“Thought you didn’t want to get up,” Shane teases. 

“Didn’t want to be in bed alone,” Ryan admits, gazing up through his lashes.

“Alright.” Shane smiles, less teasing, infinitely fonder. “You gonna help me in the kitchen?” 

“Nope. But I promise to sit on the counter and look pretty.” Ryan grins up at Shane, and Shane shakes his head like he’s exasperated, but he leans down to kiss Ryan. _Fifty more years of that_ , Ryan thinks. Of this, of all of it. 

They manage to shower without having _too_ much fun. Ryan almost slips and falls, and Shane rights him, but Ryan almost takes Shane down with him. And then they can’t stop laughing, even when they’re wrapping themselves in towels. 

Ryan doesn’t bother with a shirt, just pulls on a fresh pair of Shane’s pajama pants. Shane looks cozy in a sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up the length of his forearms, hair falling over his forehead. Ryan feels so much, a little silly, with how much more he wants to touch. The desire sits in his fingertips, buzzing, so he does, reaching for Shane when he stands with him. All this intimacy and closeness they’re allowed now, all of it just sticks inside Ryan’s chest as he searches for skin underneath Shane’s sweatshirt, pressing his fingers into Shane’s stomach. 

“You okay?” Shane wonders aloud, and Ryan nods against Shane’s chest, blooming with warmth when Shane kisses the top of his head. 

“Yeah.” 

When they finally leave the bedroom, the setting sun has come to show its face, casting a warm orange glow in the apartment. 

In the kitchen, Ryan does sit on the counter, keeping Shane company as Shane makes them spaghetti. Shane even puts on an apron, and Ryan can’t help himself, pulling Shane between the spread of his knees by tugging at the collar, grinning wide.

“Love me a man in an apron,” Ryan announces.

“Good thing I’m the only one here, then,” Shane teases with a quirked eyebrow.

Really, Ryan can see it, the last handful of years turning into many, many more. They’ve already shared birthdays and holidays, but now, they’ll have them _together_. As a unit. As a pairing and a partnership. The thought of it spills comfort and warmth all throughout his body. Shane’s smile turns soft, and Ryan imagines it, the sprouting of grey hair, the crinkles by his eyes even crinklier, laugh lines deepening. He doesn’t know where they’ll be, or what they’ll be doing, but God, he can see it.

They’ll forget about this moment, favoring other memories they’ll make, but for now, Ryan exists here, with Shane, in orange light and shower-warmed skin, sharing intimate, knowing smiles. 

“Tell me you love me,” Ryan says, traipsing both hands up Shane’s arms to rest against his shoulders. He knocks his toes into Shane’s thighs. 

With glittering, amber eyes and a grin, Shane says, “Love you, Ryan,” like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! love y'all. [tumblr!](https://uneventfulhouses.tumblr.com/)


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